alright… before I really start, let me say that I have had some wine and may not be my usual witty (or coherent) self.
Today is my least favorite day of the year
luckily it is almost over.
the reason it is my least favorite day of the year is because this is the birthday of my biological father.
I always stop and think today…. should I reach out and wish a happy birthday? should I be the bigger man?
but then I realise…. int he last 365 days, I have not heard anything about him, or from him, and I am ok with that.
besides… why should I be the bigger man in this… he is my friggin father after all.
I am about to say something here that I am sure will be used against me at some point by my darling sister
It pains me that I don’t have contact with my father.
I mean, really it shouldn’t and after she praised me for being so “strong” in this, I should take that and run.
but I always thought I was better than him.
but really… I am avoiding him as much as he avoids me… so really… we are the same in that
I really hate this day.
hopefully tomorrow is better.
i WON’T HOLD IT AGAINST YOU AT ALL. i didn’t mean for that to be in all caps, but i am too lazy to fix it. lol…
seriously though. I think it would be a little odd to not feel anything at all EVER. you are not Data, and it’s pretty nirmal for a person with daddy issues to exhibit daddy issueness on the date of birth (0r death) of said daddy.
Personally, I was looking at the day the exact same way, and refuse to give a shit. I know that I am supposed too. But I just don’t. I am tired, and don’t give a rats ass anymore.
Mark asked me what would i do if he miraculously smartened up, moved to the city, got a job, and asked for forgiveness. I laughed for damn near ten minutes…lol… I don’t have to worry about that at all, so why fuck my head up stressing over it?
I would stick to drinking wine. Much more compatable, and you know the outcome of the relationship
NIRMAL! hehe. ya he does not win the good daddy award.